Hypocrisy is not the blanket failure it’s made out to be; we all act in ways that conflict with the image we want to reflect or the values we want to embody. Try not to pigeonhole people with expectations; be forgiving of this inconsistency, both in yourself and in others.
It never works anyway.
Some of the greatest writers of children’s fables were male: The Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, even Walt Disney. You are not a tiny princess awaiting rescue by a valiant man, a symbol of frailty and naïveté, or the punch line in a morality tale. The women in those stories were crafted by a different sex at a different time for a different audience; these days you slay the dragon yourself.
Friendship, love, and family don’t hinge on any single success or failure; you would do yourself a disservice to administer litmus tests to things as labyrinthine as love and affection.
Don’t try to trade on it; it is something specifically and only yours to explore and enjoy with someone you love. If you treat it as anything more or anything less you’re just gambling away your shot at true intimacy in pursuit of a false sense of self worth.
Forget the love you see in screenplays and on sitcoms; your life is more tangled, more interesting, and frankly, much longer than a movie.
When it comes to [people] who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.
Wild Nights—Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
To a Heart in Port—
Done with the Compass—
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden—
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor—Tonight
— In Thee!
I love living with you and your father; I also cherish the years I spent living alone. You shouldn’t go from being someone’s daughter to someone’s wife to someone’s mother without first being someone yourself. Living alone will allow you to discover who you are when no one is watching, what you need to get through a day, and ultimately that you are a capable, independent woman.