Give some of your money and some of your time to nonprofit groups. I recommend choosing a local organization like a shelter or museum so you can see the direct benefit of your participation, rather than a celebrity-supported cause – they already get plenty of attention.
You don’t get everything you want in life. That’s all there is to say about that.
You won’t really appreciate this until you become a mother yourself.
When your father and I started dating, I was shocked by the way he held every door for me and grasped my hand when I stepped off a low curb. Despite being secretly smitten by these gestures, in my self-righteous youth, I responded with ridiculous assertions that I could do it myself. I kept up this charade until the day he bluntly told me to lay off. He knew I was perfectly capable of the simple task of opening a door; he just wanted to do it for me! Then and now, I revel in your father’s dedication to old-fashioned chivalry: He still walks to the passenger side of the car to open the door for me; he refuses to allow me to carry heavy things; and he insists that I wrap myself in his coat, even though I knew it would be a cold night and left my warm jacket at home because it didn’t coordinate with my dress. This is what’s known as gallantry. Know that you aren’t entitled to it, and you can’t expect it, but in those rare cases when you find it beating down your door, embrace it! Also, thank your father for showing you how it’s done.
And really, a higher tax bill means you’ve made more money. Take pride in that and in your contribution to the civil services those taxes pay for.
People who work for tips earn their livelihoods at your mercy. A tip is not a tool to coerce the server or hairstylist to indulge your whims; it’s simply the currency of service jobs. An adequate job requires a standard tip, and outstanding service is rewarded with a bigger one. Don’t think of a tip as a supplemental cost; it is as integral to your purchase as the tax you pay. This is something you will really embrace once you have the opportunity to slave away in a tip-earning position. Doing that job will teach you a genuine respect for service workers, and to tip generously.
Yet death is inevitable. Mourning invites magical thinking; you may wonder what you might have done differently to alter what has happened, whether a person would still be alive if you had only loved better or more. Your love can’t keep death at bay, my daughter. But it can comfort you. There is nothing more I can say about grieving; you just grieve.
Hypocrisy is not the blanket failure it’s made out to be; we all act in ways that conflict with the image we want to reflect or the values we want to embody. Try not to pigeonhole people with expectations; be forgiving of this inconsistency, both in yourself and in others.
When things are free, it’s easy to overindulge. If you take ten bananas because the bananas are free, you’ll likely end up with eight rotten bananas covered in flies while another person is left tragically bananaless. Take what you’re going to use and leave the rest for someone else.