If you are privy to someone else’s secret, I advise you to keep it in confidence. But if you have a secret that’s gnawing you from the inside out, you can unload it onto me. I promise never to judge you, to keep your secret locked in the vault, and to respect your decision if you choose not to share it with me at all.
Don’t stay away from home for too long, if only because my heart breaks a little every week we spend apart.
Yet death is inevitable. Mourning invites magical thinking; you may wonder what you might have done differently to alter what has happened, whether a person would still be alive if you had only loved better or more. Your love can’t keep death at bay, my daughter. But it can comfort you. There is nothing more I can say about grieving; you just grieve.
It never works anyway.
Find people to love and love them unconditionally.
Friendship, love, and family don’t hinge on any single success or failure; you would do yourself a disservice to administer litmus tests to things as labyrinthine as love and affection.
I don’t know why people say this; it just isn’t true. You are your own woman, and if you become a mother you will clearly make your own choices. I’ll tell you what my mother told me: ” When you start your family, simply pick the things I did that you liked and keep them, and take all the things you hated and never use them.”
Babyhood is so short and so infused with magic, but it’s also filled with exhaustion. There is nothing on Earth as special as those restful moments a parent shares with a sleeping baby rocking in a chair, humming a lullaby, peacefully nestled close. You are still a baby, and already I mourn the day you grow too big to cuddle on my lap as your tiny hands relax, your eyes droop, and you drift off into safe, contented slumber while I sigh at you, delirious with love.
You can change a tire, build a fire, take the trash out, invest your savings, fix the plumbing, etc. Now if a nice man wants to help you with these things, and you want his help, by all means take it. You have nothing to prove; I just don’t want you to count on a male human handling things for you that you are entirely capable of handling yourself.
I wanted your name to be Zsu Zsu. You can thank your father that it isn’t.